All addictions, rest in a complex web of family relationships
This means anything that we become in life has its trace in our family
This might or might not occur to everyone in the family but at least one person we manifest the origin and ideology of the family
For example, a father or mother is a doctor, one of their children will likely be a medical practitioner.
So this applies to any form of addictions
If a father is an alcoholic or womanizer, one of the children will exhibit that habit
We should be wondering why this thing happen or occur
This will bring us to the definition of family
I will like to describe the family as systems.
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System – regulated by rules, roles, understanding, and misunderstanding
The family system has the capacity to sustain unity, establish the distance between family members, allow individual uniqueness, and produce an organized effort.
But the tragedy of the family system is balance. Balance in the sense that, family members what to look good outside, Being balanced for family members makes them feel normal. Not always but sometimes, this means keeping things the same even if they are painful.
This type of balance occurs in some friendship. People thing being balance helps their family or protect their family image but they don’t know it makes it worse,
Because no matter how you can hide your family or friends weakness, people will always know, nothing can hide for life, it will one day be open to the public. Being Balance is like pretending like all is well when you should look or call for help.
Family denial appears to be accelerated in all form of addiction because of the shake and moral connotations of such behaviour. In that sense, addiction as a family dysfunction is different from other family illness
Yet the taste remains for each member of the family to search out his or her individual part in the family predicament.
The first effort in understanding one’s part in the family begins with the family in which one was raised.
Part of acknowledging true powerlessness for both the addict and the concerned persons Starts with the recognition that the roots of the addiction may, in fact, span generation.
Now let talk about friends
A true friend shields and protect his friend image but a healthy friend help and stand for his friend.
We all have the habit of ” I don’t want to hurt my friend if I tell him about his/her addiction” but the fact is that you can not be a friend if it gets worse or goes out of hand
Now how can you help your friends or family members out of addiction?
First of all show love
You can’t help a person you don’t love and no one will ever accept to help him/ her if you don’t show love to them.
Secondly, be supportive and be of help
If the addict knew you are in to help him or her, without any other motive than to help him or her, they will always listen and open to you
Thirdly, don’t condemn or abuse but advise and let him or her see the reason for what they are engaging in and what likely to be the end of it
Fourth, be trustworthy and keep secret
Anything you discussed or he or she tells you, don’t let the third party hear about it.
Lastly, be prayerful
Only God can change human beings, intercede for him or her
Everyday till you see results